Wedding Trends

Many wedding pros have noted brides are seeking out "low cost" choices instead of trying to make their "dream" wedding this year. It's not about finding that perfect dress at any cost anymore. Brides are finding the discount racks, coupon deals and choosing items that are on sale.

What does this mean for wedding vendors and brides? It means lower prices are now the status quo. If your wedding vendor isn't trying to be competitive with their neighbors, brides may ask "What's really so special about XYZ company that I need to pay so much more for it?" That question often turns a bride away from high priced vendors and turns them on to the discount dudes. Not only does the bride save money, but often the small vendor will try harder to please you and be more willing to work with your personal wishes. The small vendor wants and needs to have happy customers to keep going. Small vendors are often locally owned and operated, giving you a totally different experience than an over-priced chain or franchise with cookie-cutter values.

• Local bakers will be glad to make your cake into an artistic masterpiece. While a grocery store bakery will have limited choices on what you can do.
• Small alteration shops will be sure to make your dresses look great for each girl AND have them finished on time. Major dress shops may not even offer alteration services, or the seamstress may be offsite which could delay getting the dress back to you if you're working on a limited time-frame.
• Photographers have the widest range of services provided when compared with competitors. Many do not include things like a photo DVD, access to print your own photos later (copyrights), online photo album (gallery), or an easy way to order more print products (pre-framed items, statuettes, keychains, etc.). Look for one that can offer items you want that are built-in to the price already and can offer extra items later in case you want those too.

So, don't overlook a small vendor because they have coupons, discounts, sales or are just lower priced in general. You could actually get more for your dollar by choosing them!

Check with your church

I've been in many different types of churches, temples and places of worhsip. Some are very grand and awe inspiring, some are quaint and quiet. As a photographer, it's important that I follow the rules for your chosen wedding location. Please check with your church about lighting options, where people can or cannot stand, what's allowed and most importantly.. what's not. Some churches do not allow flash photography at all. They may feel it's disrespectful to the ceremony, or it may damage parts of the church (in very old buildings). If you're able to get this info ahead of time, this will really help when I plan your formal photos and ceremony shots. I will often try to speak with the officiant to make sure I know the rules too. It's not only so I'm informed or reminded, but also as a way to show respect to the officiant and their function. After all... they're the person who will make YOU man & wife!

If you run into an issue with your church, please contact me. I can suggest alternatives or let you know how I may be able to work around the issue. Some issues cannot be avoided. I've had extremely dark churches where added lighting was required, but not allowed. I've had churches where photographers are not allowed anywhere BUT the balcony 100 feet away from the action. I've had portions of the ceremony where photos were not allowed, even without flash. I try to look at things from every possible angle to get the job done as best as I can. If that's not possible, I will let you know!

The best thing you can do is ask your officiant/church what's allowed & what's not inside the chapel (where the ceremony takes place), in other church areas (outside and inside, in case there's a spot you find pretty), during the ceremony. If you find the rules are too restrictive, you may want to consider another location.

An alternative is to have your wedding outdoors. There are many locations you can choose in West Michigan from perfect parks to beautiful beaches. Rental fees are often lower for these places than a traditional church. Some might even be free, if you're lucky.

"Freelance" officiants are usually not connected to a brick-and-morter church. They are much more likely to cater to your personal wishes and travel to your chosen location. They often have lower rates than the local clergy expects for their donations too. (Don't forget to ask your church clergy about their fee/donation. You might be surprised.) Freelance officiants are easy to find. Check online with OneWed.com, WeddingWire.com, yellow pages or your other wedding vendors. Some officiants will also act as your wedding planner for an added bonus.

Limo or not?

Most bridal couples think only a limo should drive them to the reception. This can become one of your bigger expenses if you're not careful. But don't limit yourself to limos.

Limo service may include more than you expect. Some companies include beverages in the limo as part of the price. Ask about providing your own to cut costs. A tip of 15% is the appropriate amount to be given to your limo driver. Be sure to read your contract, as the tip has often already been added into the final bill.

Go for Luxury! You can easily rent large luxury cars for the day at any car rental agency. Almost every time it's much cheaper than a limo would be. Keep in mind, your limo rental fee includes a driver and usually 1-2 hours max. While a normal car rental will allow you to keep the vehicle overnight and you can have someone special be your driver. (Ask your Master of Ceremony to turn in the car for you if you're leaving on honeymoon the next day.)

Get in touch with a local car club. Find someone who will rent their antique or muscle car for the day (or afternoon). They might even drive it for you (some owners would rather do this). It can make your wedding day very unique in an easy, low cost way.

Is "Low Horsepower" more your speed? Check with your local 4H club and see if there's any horses that can pull a carriage. If they don't have anyone on their list, ask the next town's 4H or ask about non-4H'ers. Note that it will take much longer for you to travel this way so be sure to fit that into your day's schedule. You might choose a church close to your reception location (or vice versa). And find out how the "road apples" are cleaned up if there's a city ordinance against leaving them behind. Horses can be a fun "green" alternative!

Not recommended: Motorcycles or scooters. Imagine wedding dress caught in the back tire.. Riiip! If you're experienced with wearing a large dress and biking, that's up to you. Now, a sidecar would make it a different story!

Secret weapons: Master & Mistress/Matron of Ceremony

Your best wedding tool is your "army". And the most overlooked jobs are Master & Mistress/Matron of Ceremony. You can choose 1 person or a married couple you admire. They should be people you feel will get the assigned tasks done without much direction from you.
They can do things such as:

• run interference between quarrelling guests (or even between you and certain family members!)
• moving items (flowers, decorations, etc.) to another place after the ceremony
• help clean up after the reception
• drive you & the groom in a special car from the church to reception (who needs a limo? rent a cool luxury car!)
• organize the events at your reception (cake cut, bouquet toss, 1st dance)
• help round up folks for formal photos so they move along faster - I highly recommend this!
• organize the wedding party so they walk down the aisle correctly
• be your advocate about how you want things done in general

Remember the "Mistress" would be an unmarried woman, while a "Matron" is married. And a small thank you gift is definitely required for all the work they'll do!

Your wedding "army"

Every bride has her "army" of friends ready, waiting and willing to take on any wedding task she assigns them. Make sure you use these trusted friends in the best way possible. Think of each one's greatest ability and assign them tasks to fit that. Jane loves flowers and has a green thumb. Let her scope out the local floral shops for you, then take her with you to choose your bouquets. Anna is a great at crafting. Ask her to think up some fabulous table centerpieces and help her create them with a few other friends. Sharon loves dance clubs and is into the hottest hits. Ask her to check on a few DJ's or even live music bands. Then sample their music together. Some DJ's will let you get a sneak peek at another bride's wedding, just be respectful when you do so & don't stay too long. Local bands often play at venues where you can pop in. Henrietta is a wonderful negotiator. Ask her to diffuse any arguments as best she can before they become knock-down fights on your dance floor.
If you're creative and thoughtful about what tasks you assign, your friends will feel even more loved and honored to help you. Don't forget to thank them. A small gift from the heart can mean everything!

Grooms! Don't forget about YOUR wedding "army". Your good male friends can assist your bride's army. Or give them some of those tasks her friends can't complete. Guys can keep the music jumping by making suggestions to the DJ/band. They can guide tipsy relatives to a quiet corner. Guys help nervous grooms (and sometimes brides) get relaxed for formal photos by cracking jokes to bring out natural smiles. (I LOVE THIS and encourage it, by the way!) Guys have the unique opportunity to make things fun & goofy - at any age! Use that great resource and be sure to thank your pals in a special way.

Un-best Guests

With many families and friends stretched far and wide these days, it's sometimes a bit stressful when some folks get together. If you haven't seen or talked to them for a long time, you might get a little shell-shocked when they aren't the way you expect or remember them. Aunt Fanny is divorced and has become a lush enjoying more than her fair share at your open bar. Uncle Henry is harassing the caterers by commenting on "how lovely they look" in not-so-flattering language. Your new mother-in-law is trying to direct your ceremony. Your sister is having her own "pity party" because her boyfriend left her... 4 months ago. The ringbearer is wreaking havoc on your flower bouquets. A friend accidentally spills make-up on your wedding dress as she tries to give you a hug. What do you do when chaos ensues??
First, try to avoid chaos whenever possible. The old saying goes "A pound of prevention is worth an ounce of cure." Give your bartender a heads up about Aunt Fanny's drinking ability, and strongly suggest he water down the drinks for her or offer non-alcoholic choices later. You can also let Aunt Fanny bring a friend who won't mind driving her home later when she's "too pooped from the party". Give the waitstaff a heads up about Uncle Henry, then keep a steady flow of entertaining relatives to be at his table. Let mom-in-law know you'd love to have her be part of the ceremony but that you don't want to stress her out with all the details & you'd rather let her relax & enjoy the day. Encourage your sister to bring a friend, even a good girl friend to have fun with her at your party. Ask the parents (or grandparents, siblings) of the ringbearer to keep a leash on him. Tell them to bring a few of his favorite toys or provide some new ones yourself. Coloring books can go a long way! Keep make-up closed and set well away from the table/counter edges.
What if you can't prevent? Don't frustrate - TOLERATE! Choose to stay away from annoying family members and if someone tries to give you woe about another guest not being their best.. simply ask them to take it up with your parents or someone you've chosen to "be in charge" of potential problems. This is where your Master & Mistress/Matron of Ceremonies comes in handy! Let little issues roll off your back. You're there to celebrate YOUR DAY, not allow someone to ruin it.
Some people will always make themselves into a shocking spectacle or annoying guest. Take a few deep breaths, put on a big smile and go in the other direction. It's alot easier than you might think and it's much less stressful to allow someone else to handle those problems for you.
P.S. Yes. I have seen many of the above mentioned issues, although not all at the same wedding!

To nap or not to nap? Kids in your wedding

Having kids in your wedding can be very fun. They will often do the cutest things to catch my eye as a photographer and as a fellow mom. When you have children in your wedding, or around at the wedding, I advise folks to let those young ones have a nap. There's so much activtiy to watch before, during and after a wedding. It can poop your pumpkins right out! Letting them take a nap, even a short one, can really refresh them. It also gives you and their parents a break from kid-patrol. If it's not possible to take a normal nap, at least give them some quiet time with a quiet space. Try fun coloring books with crayons. Be sure to have favorite stuffed animals, blankets or security items handy. Anything to lighten the stress-load on wedding day is a good thing!

Vendors love a good network

Wedding vendors (those good folks who provide great services) love to network. They pass along contacts they liked working with before & also those they didn't like. This is an easy way to find folks within your budget for other things you'll need. Check the vendor's website for endorsements or just ask! Often you can find good local vendors through gateway sites like Ehitched.com, onewed.com, and theknot.com where users leave reviews. Don't forget the ever popular Bridal Shows in your area!